So last week I ran the 5k I posted about simulating with my running group. It went fine, considering the conditions: hot and crowded. Somehow every year thunderstorms threaten this race, and this year was no exception. Lightning cracked through the sky a few miles away while the runners milled around before lining up. You can't fight tradition.
I ran a better race than I expected, in no small part because I ran the course the day before. I knew where the hills were, when to conserve energy and just hang tough, and when to go all out. The benefit of knowing this particular course is knowing how long the pain of running uphill will last. Since running is partially a mental discipline, its a big advantage when you can tell yourself that the struggle is almost over, the hill levels out on the next block, or in a hundred yards, or whatever. The point is that there is comfort in knowing when we will reach the finish line and the physical trial will be over. O-Vah!
If only that was true in life, right? How many crises have you walked through without knowing when, or if, they would end? When would we wake up to a better, happier day? When would we wake up feeling physically or mentally better? When would we wake up not wanting to drink or use drugs or smoke or overeat? If we knew in advance the exact number of days in our struggle, we could appropriate our energy, resources, finances, etc., in such a way that they would last as long as we needed.
I remember the stabbing pain in my gut when my youngest child died. The thing I remember most clearly in those early days is wanting to put time - lots and lots of time - between me and Matthew's death because I knew that eventually the pain would fade; I wouldn't always feel that piercing pain. And I did eventually feel better, but it took a long time; much longer than I expected. And it was more difficult than I expected. Those first few months after Matthew died I cried, I drank, I took drugs...I did everything I could think of to numb that stabbing pain. And I was angry as heck with God. There were days when I thought I might spend the rest of my life feeling this desperate pain.
In Romans 8:18, Paul writes: "For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us." One day I found this verse and I have, ever since, held on to it for dear life. Sometimes these present sufferings feel unbearable, whether its the emotional pain of losing a child, a marriage, or a job. With nothing more to rely on than my faith, I am comforted by this fact. I don't know how or when this glory will come and wash away the sufferings of this life, I just look forward to it. The thought sustains me.
One of the great comforts in running is that, happily, we know when the suffering will end. We can look at the course map for elevation to see how long and how steep are the uphills. There is a set distance, and we know it at the starting line. In my recent 5k, I passed the 2 mile mark at about 18 minutes, and, expecting it to take me a total of 27 minutes to complete the course, I could figure out that 1) I was more than half way finished, and, 2) I only had to run for about 9 more minutes, give or take a few seconds. And I've run enough races to know that pretty much as soon as I stop running, I'm fine. Within a few minutes my breathing slows down, the sweat stops, and I'm back to normal.
But imagine signing up, and showing up, for a race and having no idea of the distance? Could be a 5k, could be a marathon, we don't know. We're just told to show up with our running shoes. That's pretty much what God has asked us to do, to trust Him that we will be able to run the distance, finish the race, and that when it's over, the finisher's medal will be...wow! Beyond anything we can imagine!
When the race gets tough, its a great to know that one way or another it will eventually be over. In life, we have to trust that our suffering will eventually end. Yes, believe me I know, this can be incredibly challenging. But there's no alternative, is there?. We must believe that God has something planned for us that will make our suffering here on earth seem not quite trivial, but certainly inconsequential given what He has in store for us. If we don't believe this, well, what's the point?
We don't know why suffering happens in this lifetime, but it certainly does. Why not take comfort where it is offered, in the knowledge that it will end, and when it does, we will wear the glory!
Simulating the Race
Today I ran with my regular Tuesday morning running group. We ran the exact route that tomorrow's 5k will follow. Our race simulation reminded me that most of the second mile of this course is uphill. It's not a steep uphill, just a long, slow uphill. And at the end of that uphill, the course passes dangerously close to my house. Last year, I thought seriously for a few seconds about leaving the course and walking the two or so blocks home, to air-conditioning and a cold drink. But I knew I that once my heart rate dropped below a dozen beats per second and I extinguished the fire in my quadraceps, I wouldn't be able to deal with the shame of a DNF next to my name at a 5k. So I forged forward for the final mile.
The truth is, I don't particularly enjoy running races. Yet I have a friend who loves it so much that she carries a little datebook to record her upcoming events and if you flip through it, she's got 2 or 3 races penciled in each weekend. I wish her enthusiasm would rub off on me. Of course, she usually wins and I, well, I usually...finish. Its probably more fun when you win.
Sometimes, especially during a race, I wonder why we all go out to run the race when only one person [of each sex, in each age group] will actually win it. In 1 Cor. 9:24, Paul writes "Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may obtain it."
There are many different reasons to run a race, and I'll bet winning doesn't motivate many runners. It's just not a realistic goal for many of us. We try to run faster than our last race. We try to qualify for more elite events that have qualifying times. We need more tech race shirts.
Whatever the motivator, once we toe the starting line, the goal becomes to run in such a way that we can obtain whatever our goal is for that event.
It's a good idea to approach our Christian life the same way - with goals and a plan to achieve them. I have an open-ended goal, every day, to tell as many people as I can about Jesus Christ. Another goal is to keep my testimony intact by not saying or doing anything that would reflect poorly on me, my family, my church, my pastor, my community, or my relationship with God. In other words, I try not to make stupid decisions, no matter how inconsequential they seem at that moment.
Next comes the difficult part of Paul's message: living our lives in such a way that we can obtain those goals. Getting the word out is difficult, especially for those of us who can't get our face on camera wearing eyeblack with Bible verses. We have to get more creative. And it can be, well, just plain awkward. Like when was the last time you found a way to mention that Jesus Christ is your lord and savior while pushing your kids on the swings at the playground? or while grocery shopping? or during Zumba class at the gym? And let's not even mention Bunko.
But the fact is that Jesus wants us to tell everyone about Him, all the time. In his gospel Mark recorded Jesus's direction to "[g]o into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature." Mark 16:15. There are numerous other citations for this same instruction, but you get it - Jesus wants everyone to know about Him!
To the extent that I tell someone about Jesus today, no matter how inartful my words or awkward the moment, I have run my race in such a way as to win the prize! So who are YOU going to tell about Jesus today? How are you going to run so you win the prize you seek?
The truth is, I don't particularly enjoy running races. Yet I have a friend who loves it so much that she carries a little datebook to record her upcoming events and if you flip through it, she's got 2 or 3 races penciled in each weekend. I wish her enthusiasm would rub off on me. Of course, she usually wins and I, well, I usually...finish. Its probably more fun when you win.
Sometimes, especially during a race, I wonder why we all go out to run the race when only one person [of each sex, in each age group] will actually win it. In 1 Cor. 9:24, Paul writes "Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may obtain it."
There are many different reasons to run a race, and I'll bet winning doesn't motivate many runners. It's just not a realistic goal for many of us. We try to run faster than our last race. We try to qualify for more elite events that have qualifying times. We need more tech race shirts.
Whatever the motivator, once we toe the starting line, the goal becomes to run in such a way that we can obtain whatever our goal is for that event.
It's a good idea to approach our Christian life the same way - with goals and a plan to achieve them. I have an open-ended goal, every day, to tell as many people as I can about Jesus Christ. Another goal is to keep my testimony intact by not saying or doing anything that would reflect poorly on me, my family, my church, my pastor, my community, or my relationship with God. In other words, I try not to make stupid decisions, no matter how inconsequential they seem at that moment.
Next comes the difficult part of Paul's message: living our lives in such a way that we can obtain those goals. Getting the word out is difficult, especially for those of us who can't get our face on camera wearing eyeblack with Bible verses. We have to get more creative. And it can be, well, just plain awkward. Like when was the last time you found a way to mention that Jesus Christ is your lord and savior while pushing your kids on the swings at the playground? or while grocery shopping? or during Zumba class at the gym? And let's not even mention Bunko.
But the fact is that Jesus wants us to tell everyone about Him, all the time. In his gospel Mark recorded Jesus's direction to "[g]o into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature." Mark 16:15. There are numerous other citations for this same instruction, but you get it - Jesus wants everyone to know about Him!
To the extent that I tell someone about Jesus today, no matter how inartful my words or awkward the moment, I have run my race in such a way as to win the prize! So who are YOU going to tell about Jesus today? How are you going to run so you win the prize you seek?
Running With An Obsessive Thought
I have an obsessive personality, and I know I'm not alone. In fact, I think all runners are born with an extra OCD chromosome. It's why we set the alarm to rise before the sun for 3 or 4 quick miles before work, why we lace up our sneaks when its the last thing we feel like doing but our training program calls for 6 miles at tempo, and why we keep running when our legs would much prefer that we stop. Immediately.
Somewhere in training we must develop the ability to keep running beyond the point where our lungs feel like an over-inflated balloon about to burst. Having a power song or mantra helps. Starting at about the 20th mile of the NYC Marathon in 1992, when I started to really struggle, I sang the second verse of Wild, Wild Life by the Talking Heads over and over. The next thing I knew, I was heading into Central Park.
So, happily, my obsessive thinking had a positive use that day.
Unfortunately, however, this same thinking can be used for my own destruction. A thought can get stuck in my head for hours, even days. And do I have to tell you that the thought usually isn't something like, "Wow! I look positively fabulous today!"
Nope. The thoughts that I ruminate on are pretty much entirely negative. For example, I used to practice law. Even though its been close to 5 years since I stepped foot in a courtroom, I can still recall, ever so clearly, getting royally and painfully chewed out by a bankruptcy judge in 2005 before a client and about 20 of my peers. Ouch. The briefest reminder of that incident can cause my mind to quickly pull up that tape from the archives and replay that incident for hours. I can be momentarily distracted, but my mind will quickly return to that unpleasant loop of painful thinking. It's a mental flogging.
We've all said unfortunate things, lost control of our bodily functions, or just plain acted like an idiot. For those of us who are obsessive thinkers, however, these instances can haunt us for years.
Fortunately, I found something in the Bible to virtually eliminate this, at least for me. In Psalm 103, David writes about the Lord's mercies. Specifically, in v12, the Psalmist says, "As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us." Now, many of the thoughts that haunt me are not transgressions. No matter; the point is that we are as far removed as New Jersey from California when it comes to those unfortunate things we've said and done. And if God is capable of putting that kind of distance between us and our sins for which He died, wow! How much more geography would He be willing to put between us and simply an unfortunate choice of words or actions?
Clearly, God is not in the hostage-taking business, and neither should we be. He is able and 100% willing, to overlook our wrongdoings because He loves us. And if God is willing to offer us that kind of forgiveness, who are we to refuse it by not giving ourselves a break from destructive and disparaging thoughts?
So today, is there a thought or memory that haunts you? Does it keep you from feeling really good about yourself? If yes, isn't it time to send it westward? Ask Him to remove that painful or uncomfortable thought that holds your thinking hostage.
Somewhere in training we must develop the ability to keep running beyond the point where our lungs feel like an over-inflated balloon about to burst. Having a power song or mantra helps. Starting at about the 20th mile of the NYC Marathon in 1992, when I started to really struggle, I sang the second verse of Wild, Wild Life by the Talking Heads over and over. The next thing I knew, I was heading into Central Park.
So, happily, my obsessive thinking had a positive use that day.
Unfortunately, however, this same thinking can be used for my own destruction. A thought can get stuck in my head for hours, even days. And do I have to tell you that the thought usually isn't something like, "Wow! I look positively fabulous today!"
Nope. The thoughts that I ruminate on are pretty much entirely negative. For example, I used to practice law. Even though its been close to 5 years since I stepped foot in a courtroom, I can still recall, ever so clearly, getting royally and painfully chewed out by a bankruptcy judge in 2005 before a client and about 20 of my peers. Ouch. The briefest reminder of that incident can cause my mind to quickly pull up that tape from the archives and replay that incident for hours. I can be momentarily distracted, but my mind will quickly return to that unpleasant loop of painful thinking. It's a mental flogging.
We've all said unfortunate things, lost control of our bodily functions, or just plain acted like an idiot. For those of us who are obsessive thinkers, however, these instances can haunt us for years.
Fortunately, I found something in the Bible to virtually eliminate this, at least for me. In Psalm 103, David writes about the Lord's mercies. Specifically, in v12, the Psalmist says, "As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us." Now, many of the thoughts that haunt me are not transgressions. No matter; the point is that we are as far removed as New Jersey from California when it comes to those unfortunate things we've said and done. And if God is capable of putting that kind of distance between us and our sins for which He died, wow! How much more geography would He be willing to put between us and simply an unfortunate choice of words or actions?
Clearly, God is not in the hostage-taking business, and neither should we be. He is able and 100% willing, to overlook our wrongdoings because He loves us. And if God is willing to offer us that kind of forgiveness, who are we to refuse it by not giving ourselves a break from destructive and disparaging thoughts?
So today, is there a thought or memory that haunts you? Does it keep you from feeling really good about yourself? If yes, isn't it time to send it westward? Ask Him to remove that painful or uncomfortable thought that holds your thinking hostage.
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